I almost didnt post this..
But i'm glad i did..
Recently I reposted a video I’d recorded some time ago. It wasn’t planned, it wasn’t polished and if I’m honest with you, I nearly didn’t share it at all.
The video was from one of those days. You’ll know the kind, where everything feels a bit too much and the weight of it just sits on your chest and the tears come whether you invite them or not. So I hit record, not because I intended to post it and not because I thought it would perform well, but because I wanted to capture something real... me having a tough day.
And then I sat on that video for a few weeks..
One STORY
The reason I didn’t share it straight away is probably the same reason most men don’t tell the truth when they’re struggling.
We don’t want to worry people. We don’t want to look weak. We tell ourselves it’ll be alright, that it’s not that bad, that other people have got bigger problems. So we carry it quietly and we get on with it and nobody knows.
But when I watched the video back something struck me about the man in it. I wasn’t totally broken, I wasn’t falling apart or having a crisis, I was simply overwhelmed, and that’s allowed. Because being a man doesn’t make you immune from being human, even though a lot of us spend a significant amount of energy behaving as though it should.
What I wasn’t expecting was the response when I did eventually post it. Men messaging privately, men saying they’d been having the same kind of days and hadn’t told anyone. Men saying it was the first time they’d seen another man just be honest about it without immediately wrapping it up in a lesson or a solution or a reason why it was actually fine.
That response told me something I think is worth saying out loud this week.
One SHIFT
It’s Men’s Mental Health Awareness Month and every year we hear the same statistics and the same messages, and I get it, awareness matters.
But I keep coming back to something that I think gets missed in most of those conversations.
Most men don’t need fixing. They need permission. Permission to admit they’re struggling, to say they’re tired, to say they’re carrying more than they let on. Permission to stop having all the answers and stop pretending they’re fine when they’re clearly not.
The strongest men I know aren’t the ones who never struggle. They’re the ones who stop struggling alone.
That’s the shift.
Not some dramatic overhaul of how men think about themselves, just the quiet permission to be honest with one person about how things actually are. Because in my experience the conversation that changes everything is usually the one we nearly don’t have.
One Challenge
I want you to do something simple, and I mean that. This isn’t a big ask.
Pick one person. A mate, a brother, someone in your family, anyone you trust a little. And instead of the usual how are you, ask them how they’re really doing. Then wait for the answer.
And while you’re at it, answer that question yourself.
Not the automatic version, not the socially acceptable one, the honest one. Even if only in your own head to start with.
If you’re reading this and recognising that you’ve been carrying a lot on your own lately, don’t just sit with it. Send the message, pick up the phone, book the coffee. It doesn’t have to be a big conversation. It just has to happen.
And if you’re not sure where to start with any of this, that’s exactly what the Midlife Audit is for. It’s a chance to stop, get honest, and perhaps hear yourself clearly again for the first time in a while.
A proper, honest interruption to the loop a lot of men are trapped inside.
It’s designed to help you step back and see clearly:
What’s draining you
What you’ve outgrown
Where you’re stuck in survival mode
What part of you has been ignored for too long
And what needs to happen next if you want your life to actually feel like yours again.
And it’s super easy to get this started with the click of a button:
You complete the audit.
I personally read every answer.
Then I send you a direct written reflection on what I see:
the patterns,
the blind spots,
the emotional weight you’re carrying,
and the next steps that would create real movement.
Because most men don’t need another motivational quote.
They need someone to help them see their life honestly again.
And if a part of you is reading this thinking:
“Yeah… I probably need to do that.”
Pay attention to that feeling.
That’s usually the part of you that already knows something needs to change.
Did I mention it’s Pay What You Feel?
