Eighteen Men Walked Through the Door

What they discovered when they showed up and spoke honestly for two hours.

Last night was the first Stroud Andy’s Man Club.

If I’m honest, I thought five or six men might show up.
It was the first one.
New space.
New group.

Eighteen men walked through the door. Eighteen!
And I was genuinely blown away.

One Story

So... we sat in a circle.
Some of those men had never shared openly in a room like that before.

And yet, one by one, they spoke.

About midlife.
About identity.
About separation.
About co-parenting.
About marriage.
About business pressure.
About purpose.

About that quiet question:

“Who am I now?”

The theme that kept surfacing?
Loneliness.

Just that low-level sense of carrying things alone.

What struck me most was this:
It didn’t matter whether someone was a brain surgeon or a plumber.
For those two hours, we were the same man — just slightly different stories.

By the tea break, there was laughter.
Stories about vasectomies, about finally feeling like we’re just getting a handle on life in our 40s and 50s.

And you could feel it.
The load had shifted.

Not because anyone was fixed.
But because no one was alone in what they were going through since walking through that door.

One Shift

Here’s what last night reminded me.

Men want this.

We might resist it.
We might feel awkward walking in.
We might tell ourselves we don’t need it.

But underneath that resistance is something else — a desire to sit in circle.
To be heard without being judged.
To speak without having to perform strength.

For thousands of years, men have sat in circle.
We’ve just forgotten.

Loneliness doesn’t always need solving.
Sometimes it just needs witnessing.

And something changes when you realise the man next to you is wrestling with the same questions.

One Challenge

If you’re reading this and thinking:

“I could do with that… but it’s not really my thing.”

Just notice that.
Pay attention to the hesitation.

Underneath fear, there’s often desire.

Whether it’s Andy’s Man Club,
a men’s group,
a proper conversation with a mate,
or just showing up somewhere new —
move one inch toward connection this week.

Because I watched eighteen men walk into a room last night.
And I watched eighteen men leave lighter.

Seen.
Heard.
Understood.

You don’t have to carry it on your own.

If you’re local to Stroud, we meet every Monday evening.
The next one is Monday 9th March – Shamble Market, Stroud.

And if you’re elsewhere in the UK, you can find your nearest group at andysmanclub.co.uk.

No pressure.
Just a circle of men willing to be honest for two hours.